evasion

"Yeah...ok i won't tell her." i hear my dad say.
"Tell me what...?" i ask...curiously.
"nothing...absolutely nothing." he replies...with a nervous and deceptive tone.
"Fine...don't tell me!!!" i swiftly leave the kitchen..succeeding in making a dramatic exit.
"wait...i...it's not that, it's just i can't..."
"too late dad," i interrupt, "it's too late."

After slamming my door my hand makes one fluid movement across the cluttered wooden desk sitting in the farthest corner of my room. Quickly shuffling through the pile of recently migrated papers on my floor, i look for a clean sheet.

'Dear Mum," i start off, "why?"
"Why do you not want to talk to me? Why can't you share your feelings with me?" I continue.
"Your smiles are my smiles, your laughter causes my laughter. Don't you think that it's the same thing with your frowns, and your tears? Don't you respect me enough to let me know what's happening?" Looking down at the page I realize that the ink splotches are now diluted and seeping through the paper, due to the tears rapidly dropping from my knobby chin. Realizing that my emotions are as out of control as a monkey would be on speed, i decide to ignore them, and continue.

"You never want to tell me what's happening. I can help you, I'm as much here for you as you are for me. You don't care though...you think you can hide it all from me. You did when you were cheating on dad...and you do now! I was crazy to think that our relationship had grown. I was crazy and stupid...and out of my mind to think that maybe we had gotten closer."

Closing my eyes, i stutter the final words...too frustrated to write them down.

"your eyes betrayed you though. Now...i know everything."